Trading in Pain
by Fullmetal Guitarist
Summary: They've learned to heal their emotional pain somewhat by inflicting physical pain on each other, but it's not enough. So without knowing how they got there, two troubled boys find another way to help both of them cope. SasuNaru, a oneshot in two parts.
1. Chapter 1

See? This is why I haven't updated "Scars of the Mind and Body" in forever. I've been working on this. It's a slightly different take on how SasuNaru might happen, with sex being just an extension of their relationship and an avenue to let out the emotional wounds both boys carry. But without further adu, I bring you the story.

**Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto. I do not own the characters. If I did, the manga would be rated 16+ at least, and the show would definitely ** _not _**be on daytime cartoon network.**

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Things really haven't changed that much between Sasuke and me since we've become friends , if you could really call it that. If you look at it one way, we're obviously best friends; we spend almost all our waking hours together. If you look at it another way, we're still rivals or enemies; we don't talk any more than we used too, and we're only slightly less hostile towards each other. We don't really do anything together but go on missions and train, which is all either of us really does these days anyway. When we're not training with Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei, we're working out or sparring just the two of us. One of the few times Sasuke actually talked to me civilly for more than a couple sentences was when he told me that I might actually stand a chance of becoming Hokage if I stopped wasting time playing pranks and put more effort into training. Then he invited me to train with him. And now that's all we do. 

We mostly spar, if you could call it that. We wear ourselves out and get plenty of bruises, and we sure as hell don't pull any punches. Kakashi-sensei has to warn us a few days before we leave for a harder mission so we don't beat the shit out of each other and to the point of being useless. I don't mind being sore and tired constantly, though. The pain feels good, somehow. And the feeling of Sasuke's body slamming against mine (most of our little fights do come down to close-quarters grappling) isn't exactly bad. I just get this overwhelming desire to beat the shit out of him and get the shit beaten out of me, and I obey it. But there's this other feeling too. Like there's another need I want to fulfill with him, but I don't know how too.

Here comes the bastard now. He sits down beside me as I'm finishing my dinner (beef ramen) and mutters a slightly-less-than-menacing greeting.

"Evening, dobe."

"Same to you, teme."

We sit in silence for a few more minutes while I eat the last of my ramen. "Shall we go, then?"

He nods, I pay for my meal, and we stand up and leave. We walk to the Uchicha manor on the outskirts of the village, which was home to an entire clan of skilled ninja once, but occupied only by Sasuke now. There's a private training field in the courtyard, which is where we're going. We've learned by now that our "sparring" is alarmingly violent to some people, so we rarely train at the public training grounds.

I pull off my jacket and drop it to the ground, then settle into a fighting stance. "You ready, bastard-kun?"

"As always." He flashes that contemptuous smirk that just makes me want to ring his neck, and I charge at him, leaping into the air once I close half the distance between us. He dodges to the side as I come down at him, and then lands a flurry of open-handed blows on my torso while I land and skid to a halt. I catch his wrist on the last one and attempt to fling him over my shoulder, but he's planted his stance well and his center of gravity is too low. I end up pulling him forcefully towards me instead, and we both crash to the ground, rolling over and over, each trying to get the upper hand. Finally, I end up on top and pin his shoulders to the ground, but he brings his legs up and then kicks out, catching me squarely in the stomach. I groan as I'm lifted up in the air and flung backwards. We spring apart and both assume fighting stances.

"That was nothing, teme!"

"Stop talking and fight me!" The banter comes automatically, a ritual of our rivalry, or friendship, or whatever it is. I don't try to come up with witty responses, just yell whatever comes out of my mouth.

I charge at him and throw a flurry of carefully aimed punches to his head and chest. He dodges some, but a few of the blows land. He ducks and delivers a spinning kick to my side. I fly a few feet through the air, but I manage to land on my feet. He rushes toward me, hoping to keep me off balance, but I've already reoriented and I'm ready for him. A second later, he's in range and throws a left-handed punch at my head. I lean to the side, grabbing his left arm with my right hand and using his momentum to increase the effectiveness of an elbow slam with my other arm. I hit him in the solar plexus, and he grunts as he flies over my back. I knocked the wind out of him, but it hasn't stopped him. I hear him fall, roll, and stand up as I turn around. He immediately leaps on me, and this time he's to fast for me. I fall to the ground beneath him, the back of my head slamming down with a disorienting and painful thud.

"I win dobe." He has somehow caught both my arms behind my back with one hand, and the other is holding a kunai at my throat. This puts his body, for the most part, flush against mine, and his face is inches away from mine, our noses almost touching.

"Fine," I snarl, realizing there's no way I can get out of his trap.

But he doesn't get off of me. He just sits there, staring into my eyes, breathing pretty much into my mouth. I stare back at him defiantly.

Then he kisses me. And to my surprise, I kiss him back.

It's nothing like that one accidental kiss all that time ago. That kiss was soft and clumsy, powerless. It didn't have any feeling or meaning put into it. This kiss has power, and it's full of lust and anger and urgency. It's rough, almost violent. His lips are tense, not quite hard enough to be unpleasant. I'm aware that my arms are still pinned to the ground beneath me, but I don't care. His tongue presses against my lips, and I open my mouth, my own tongue coming to duel with his. They dance, flicking in and out of both our mouths.

I know I should be freaking out and pushing him away right now. I mean, I'm kissing _Sasuke_ for Kami's sake! Never mind that well over half the girls in Konoha would give an arm and a leg, and maybe more, to have him pin them to the ground and kiss them. He's my eternal rival and all that. I hate him, right? Can't stand the sight of him, right? That's why I like fighting him so much. Anyway, he's a guy. I'm a guy. If I'd had living parents for much of my childhood, I'd be even more appalled by thought of lying on the ground making out with another guy than I am right now.

And yet, I'm still lying here, making out with Sasuke. At some point, he let go of my arm, and now we're completely entangled. I… what the fuck am I doing? My hand's on his ass! I'm squeezing so hard I'm sure I'll leave bruises, but he isn't stopping me. Now he's got his hand up my shirt, and he's pinching one of my nipples _hard_. Like, _really hard_. I squirm and cry out into his mouth, but I don't want him to stop. Did I mention we're stilling French-kissing furiously at this point? We do that for a few more minutes, hands roaming about each others' bodies, kissing violently all the while. Finally, he breaks the kiss and starts pulling my shirt off. I help him by lifting my arms over my head. As soon as my shirt's off, he's at it again, sucking hard on the soft skin at the base of my neck. It hurts, but it feels really good at the same time. I cry out and squirm, but I don't want him to stop, and he doesn't. As he's sucking, he occasionally swirls his tongue over my skin, or grazes it with his teeth. _It hurts so good!_ I start tugging at his shirt, trying to pull it off of him. I want to feel his bare skin against mine.

He sits up off of me for just long enough to pull his own shirt off, then starts pulling my pants down. I have a sudden inspiration, and I sit up, push him to the ground, and sit down on his chest. He squirms and tries to push me off, but doesn't manage to do so until I've got his pants and underwear down around his ankles. I stop to admire his long, pale cock rising from a nest of dark pubic hair beneath his legs, and he pushes me to the ground. He finishes removing my pants and boxers, and then we just stay there for a second. We're both pretty much naked, and he's kneeling over me, holding me down. I'm staring at his erection, and I get the feeling that he's probably staring at mine, too. Mine's thicker, but his is longer. After about thirty seconds, I figure I should probably do something. So I pull him down on top of me, and he ends up on all fours, with that gorgeous cock right in front of my face. So I just start sucking on it. I don't know why, it's what my body wanted to do.

So I'm sucking pretty hard on his cock, which reaches almost to the back of my mouth where my throat opens up. I'm using my teeth a little bit, too. I reach up and grab his ass, kneading it hard. And suddenly he stands up, pulling himself out of my grasp (and my mouth).

"Huh?" I look up at him, wondering what's wrong.

"You're not going to win that easily." It's not a threat or a challenge, just a statement.

Then he's on top of me again. He grabs me and attempts to roll me over. I end up on my hands and knees, with him behind me. He spreads my legs wide, grabbing my ass as he does so. Then I feel his weight against my back, and he's thrusting his still-wet erection into me, slowly but forcefully. He wraps himself around me, one of his hands going down to squeeze my throbbing cock while the other one pinches my nipple and rolls it between those long, clever fingers. He sucks on the peviously ignored other side of my neck as he pushes himself into me. When his entire length is inside me, he starts thrusting in and out, slowly at first, but with a definite rhythm. He speeds up gradually. He gets the right angle and hits a spot inside of me that sets off the most intense pleasure I've ever known, and I cry out. He starts thrusting harder, pumping my cock in the same rhythm. His other hand is still pinching my nipple, and he's basically biting my neck, but it feels good. After so long of not feeling anything, to feel this much pain and pleasure is a welcome relief. I feel myself rip a little bit to accommodate his full length, but again, I enjoy the pain. I cry out as he thrusts still faster, and he hits an angle inside of me that makes me feel like I'm about to explode. It's so good to for just one moment not be numb, after all these years of refusing to feel anything. He hits that spot again and again, making me ache inside. Finally, warm fluid fills the inside of me, mingling with the blood that he's already spilled there. A half a second later, I feel my own hot white seed seep out into his hand. I collapse on the ground, not caring that I'm naked in the courtyard of Uchicha Manor. I see him stagger a yard or so away, and then he also collapses from exhaustion. I close my eyes, and though I enjoy a dreamless sleep, I still savor the feeling of being in my spent, battered body.


	2. Epilogue

That was two months ago. Now, we do that often. Almost as much as we train. One or the other of our asses is always sore, and there are various other injuries, mostly pulled muscles and highly painful hickeys, that we have to hide. But nobody has any clue we do that. Kakashi and Sakura think it's just that we completely beat the shit out of each other, which we do. But we also completely fuck the shit out of each other, quite literally. We're walking that fine line between love and hate, but I feel saner and happier than I have in my life, and I think Sasuke is the happiest he's been since his family died. Some people might call us masochists, even say that we're insane, but for us, this feels right. Some others might call us faggots, but that's not quite right either. I'm not gay, because I still like Sakura-chan. But now I don't think I could ever be with her, because she could never understand it, this thing between me and Sasuke. If she knew, she'd hate me and be jealous, as if I had taken him away from her. But I haven't.

He said "yes" the last time she asked him out. I guess maybe he's remembering to love again. I never knew how, though. But I'm glad I could help him. And I think I helped make Sakura-chan very happy. I can see them from my bedroom window, walking down the street hand-in-hand. Somehow, I know Sasuke's not going to stop doing things with me just because he's dating Sakura. He loves her, but he hates me, so he'll protect her by hurting me. By fucking me, even though she wishes he would fuck her. It's her innocence, her constant hopefulness that attracts him to her, that's what attracts me to her. It's a gift to both of us, really. So we'll protect her from ever knowing what either of us is really like, on the inside. This might rip the perfect teamwork that we've all worked so hard to build apart from the inside, but I don't care, because for once in my life, I'm happy.


End file.
